The Big Boss Man

It is a fact of the universe that assholes tend to wind up in positions of power and authority, since being an asshole is usually the most effective way to get into such positions. Carl had spent his entire life working towards the top of the pyramid, and as he reclined in his plush office chair, drinking in the various ways in which the office announced to any visitor that they were small and unwelcome, a smile made its way across his face.

He closed his eyes and visualized the room full of nervous peons which awaited him just outside his heavy oak door. The way they jumped when he entered the room, afraid they would get caught slacking off. If only they worked half as hard as he did, maybe the company would be in better shape. In fact, now that he was the head honcho, he would make sure everyone worked a lot harder.

He could already hear them making excuses, complaining that they already had too much work to do. He mouthed the words, savoring how they felt: You will do it because it’s your job.

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